Who Will Cry When You Die - Chapter 29 and 30
Chapter 29 - Create a Love Account
Each day, make a few deposits in this very special reserve by doing something small to add joy to the life of someone around you. It’s the little things that make the big things
As simple as this sentiment seems, it is actually very difficult to do. Over the course of my self-healing I learned that to love someone I have to make a conscious effort to demonstrate my love. Meaning when I say “I love you”, the word love in that sentence is a verb. So I shouldn’t tell someone I love them if I am not loving them in the way they would like to receive love. Everyone has a different way of showing and receiving love. Most people show their love in the manner in which they would like to receive love. This is not necessarily the best practice if you’d like to enrich and sustain a relationship. You must learn the other person's love language. So if you all could take the time to do Gary Chapman's Love Language test and then follow a couple of recommendations from his book, you will be able to love more purposefully.
Chapter 30- Get Behind People’s Eyeballs
See from another person’s perspective to connect with the person deeply and build high-trust relationship that last. If after 60 seconds the person hasn’t anything, cut back on talking. Resist the temptation to interrupt. Pay attention to the content of what the person is saying to you.
This is the reason I am with my current partner. My partner is a very good listener. I felt understood and free to express my feelings and emotions without judgement because he made me feel safe. But it is a difficult task to do. Listening is a skill. You have to want to get better at it to become better. Most people love expressing how they’re feeling instead of listening to how another person feels. Most people like pretending to listen by waiting for the other person to finish talking before saying what they want to say. Everyone falls into those traps at one point or another in their lives. But it’s important to recognize when you are doing it and stop immediately. Once you take notice of when you’re doing it, you will get better at listening. And when people feel like you hear and see them, they will appreciate and cherish your presence in their lives.
When you do the Love Language test feel free to share your results in the comment section!